Did We Survive Hurricane Katrina or Not?

It's really too late for me to be up taking pictures of the tub surround - especially after a week of getting up before 5 am to get ready for construction people to show up - but I can't help it. It's new. I have to check it out in daylight.. overcast weather.. in the moonlight... candlelight.. spotlight.. from the inside.. from the bedroom... I almost went outside to see if I could see it through the window but decided against tracking mud through the house this late.

I have already applied a light coat of grout release tonight and plan on another coat tomorrow.

Then we have to wait for grouting to begin - and, as usual, there will be major delays.

The front of the tub was once covered with a wood panel that matched our bathroom cabinets. At one point we had thought about ditching the panel and tiling the front -- but then changed our minds and opted for replacing the panel once it is painted. However, it seems that our contractor is planning on having all of our cabinet doors, drawer facings, and this panel remade rather than repainting them. There might be a lack of communication going on here... Because we were still under the impression that some of our cabinet doors would be painted. Obviously, we are going to have to have a talk with him this weekend.

However, he did inform me today that it will be at least two weeks before that panel comes back to our house. The guys don't want to grout the surround until the panel is in place. Therefore, it will be at least two weeks before the surround is grouted.

On the difficulties of being a woman and trying to get all of this done:

(Alternate title: On the difficulties of having a brain in my head when such a thing is apparently inconvenient)

I'm a home improvement addict. I spend hours reading home improvement/builder forums here on the internet. I can skillfully use power tools. I know how to calculate miter cuts for crown moulding. I can build stuff. But no matter what I think I have learned it all becomes totally useless knowledge when dealing with people who do this for a living. I've only read 500 times that one should never grout along a non-tile surface. I think the maxim is something like "Tile meets tile - grout. Tile meets anything other than tile - caulk." And the logic of this wisdom is right on: anything other than tile will expand and contract at a different rate than the tile and ultimately the grout will crack. However, I have never in my life seen this actually carried out in an existing tile job... and so far I have yet to meet a tile person who seems to have ever heard such a thing.

I am not a professional tile person. Not only that - but I am a stupid interfering woman. Therefore, I am not the person to educate any of these guys on these matters. Instead, I must use subtle manipulation to make sure that no one tries to grout my tub into the tub surround.
Sad - but true.

Today's conversation went something like this:

Man #1: I'm wondering whether we should put the tile in before we grout because then it would be a lot easier to grout it in rather than waiting til we finish the whole job and having to just grout that part.

Me: Uh.. I would like the tub put in last.

Man #1: It's up to you - you're the customer. I'm just worried about any gaps....

Me: Well.. I really hate to be trouble.. but can't we tile the whole thing and then drop the tub in and use .. what's that stuff called? The sticky stuff in a tube? Oh.. yes... caulk... Can't we put some caulk around the tub after the tile is all done?

Man #1: Well it doesn't matter to me how we do it, I guess. But why do you want the tub put in last?

Me: Oh I hope it's not too much trouble. *blush* *sigh* It's just that I'm so afraid that the tub will get scratched or get grout dropped on it if it is in there while you're grouting....

See? Isn't that pathetic?

Of course, I can't come up with a totally illogical and petty reason to request that the corners be caulked rather than grouted... or that we can grout before that wood panel ever comes since we aren't supposed to be grouting up to a wood panel anyway. I'll keep working on it.

Then there was the matter of the unmatched tile today. I measured the space for buying tile very well -- too well apparently -- but we forgot to figure in a little extra for cuts. What this means is the guys ended up SEVEN TILES short of finishing the surround this afternoon. Dave then ran out to the store to buy one more box of the tumbled marble and all was well until I went in to check on the progress. I love Dave... But Dave picked up a box of tiles that were in a slightly different kind of box than the other 30 boxes we had already purchased. The seven tiles were totally obvious. The last box of tiles must have been from a different quarry or a different supplier or something... But they were much more uniform than the rest of the surround.. and because they were the last box and the last seven tiles -- they all ended up right next to one another. Eep.

So I walk in and say something like "Oh gosh... The new box is not the same as the rest of the tile."

The response? "Huh? They don't look any different to me." (scrape scrape.. they continue working away without looking up)

I clear my throat and say again "Uh.. they're bigger... and more square.. and less uhm.. tumbled... That's going to be really obvious when you grout it because the line will be thinner there."

Response: "Wha? Nope - we've got them spaced the same. I think you're just looking for it."

So then I leave the room and I throw a fit and tell Dave to go tell them they have to do something about the neat little row of unmatched tile. Dave exits to the bathroom and then returns to say to me: "I don't see what you're talking about. Looks fine to me."

Grrrrr....

So I go back to the bathroom with Dave and he begrudgingly says, "You know those new tiles show up - they're different from the other tiles."

Response: "Well they look good to me. I think she just sees them cause she knows they're there. Nobody else will notice."

Augh. Just a second here... Why'd he answer 'she' when it was Dave who said something this time? Huh? AND I don't care if anyone else notices.. It's my bathtub. I notice.

It was then necessary to throw a more convincing fit before returning to the bathtub once more to find that "Clint" had removed one of the offending tiles and was staring at the hole while Dave searched around frantically asking if we had just one more of the old tiles left. I rushed in with one of the new tiles and asked "Moe" if he could take it out to the wet saw and sort of roughly bevel the edges and treat it really mean until it looked less new and perfect.

In the end - a new maltreated tile broke up the row of pretty little tiles enough to make things blend better. However, I had to pay the price and get an earful about being picky while watching grown men roll their eyes and cluck their teeth and mutter stuff about 'women' under their breath.

I completely lost the battle over the fireplace and the trim kit. I still insist that the fireplace can be tiled as is well before the trim kit is installed.. IF the fireplace is tiled correctly (i.e. tile doesn't overlap the firebox) However, I have been outranked by the 'experts' at the fireplace dealer who have stated as follows: 1) 'We actually don't know the dimensions of the trim piece or how the trim piece is installed or whether or not the trim piece adjusts.' 2) 'Just don't tile around the fireplace until the trim is in place - then you can just tile up to it.' 3) 'We'll be there Wednesday to install it.'

The trim kit is an add-on accessory which was designed to 'update' old fireboxes. It stands to reason then that these trim kits are installed on existing fireboxes with existing tile or other material on the surround. In addition - the manufacturer's brochure (which includes the exact dimensions of the trim pieces) states that the trim is fully adjustable to accomodate any type of surfacing. Why are we adjusting to accomodate surfacing if the surfacing isn't there yet?

So maybe I really am dense and they're all right.

All I know is that I refuse to let anyone 'tile up to' anything.

I have until Wednesday to hatch a plan. Maybe I will secretly loosen all of the screws in the newly installed trim kit late at night... Then I will wait until the men are attempting to tile up to said trim kit. I can then nonchalantly stroll by the fireplace and accidentally (oops!) drop my handkerchief on the loosened trim piece. Then! When the ever-gallant men rush to rescue my hankie - they will knock the trim loose and discover ALL ON THEIR OWN that (gasp!) this trim kit is fully adjustable! They will be really proud of themselves when they decide to remove the whole thing and replace it after they have tiled. And I will have the fireplace done the way I want it done.