Baseboards

I can't say that before Katrina I ever gave much thought to baseboards in general. Sure, I remember being irritated when I had to dust them -- elated when I found out that Mr. Clean's Magic Eraser actually removed the scuff marks... But other than that -- I took them for granted.

I admit it. Since Katrina - I have swung wide in the other direction regarding trim & baseboards. I obsess. I never thought I would miss them so much. Many times I have scolded myself quietly for worrying about aesthetics in the aftermath of total destruction.

However - I have discovered the functional purposes of door & window trim and those often
underappreciated baseboards.

The first discovery was made during the winter following the hurricane. After sweltering in the heat for so long - we were not about to actually complain about it being extra cold in the house, but - the fact is - it was extra cold in the house. Why? You guessed it! Missing trim. We could feel the heat escaping with force around every window and door frame.

As for the summertime - this turned out to be something of a benefit. The house has stayed much cooler throughout the hottest days of the year - no thanks to our rusted air handler, mind you.

I was starting to think that - for our climate at least - a few gaps here and there on the interior of the house could not be such a bad thing...

Until a few weeks ago.

A few weeks ago, I was rummaging through the pantry when I came eye to eye with a roach. A cockroach.. Palmetto bug.. whatever you want to call it. I don't care - any names strike fear into my very soul. I'm phobic about roaches. And the roaches know it. I swear to you - they do.

Uh... but back to the encounter story... I come face-to-face with this enormous roach in the middle of the day and I think to myself that he simply tagged along on the way through the backdoor one -- what, with the pantry being so close to the door and everything.. and the garage being such a roach-haven that I don't go out there after dark for any reason whatsoever. (If the house were on fire -- I'd go upstairs to leap from the second floor rather than take a chance and wade through roach central in the middle of the night.)

Told you -- phobic.

Sooo.. the kids ate whatever they could find in the refrigerator that day .. and our antennaed houseguest remained in the pantry until Dave got home to... uhm... eliminate him.

But the next morning, he had sent reinforcements. There was an even bigger roach in the middle of the kitchen floor.. He was replaced by a cousin near the garbage can the next day.. Then there was a relative that came out to greet us that night while we were watching TV... One in my closet next to my shoes... (I now beat the very life out of my shoes every morning before I put them on.) Another on the stairs...

I think it was an Orkin commercial that warned us that for every roach you see there are thousands more lurking or something mind-bogglingly terrifying like that... And that kept running through my mind.

So I started googling to find out what to do when your home is invaded by huge roaches. This is what I learned:

1. Roaches like damp conditions because they require a source of water. Cover all drains and caulk around toilets, sinks, etc.

Right... Like previously flooded locations. That sounds good. Of course I think the gaping hole where the toilet used to be isn't helping.. And I'm not sure how to caulk around the bathtub since it's sitting in 2 x 4 framing at the moment... That would take a lot of caulk.

2. Roaches need a source of food. Roaches can eat any organic material including cardboard and paper products. Keep rooms clear of boxes, etc.

Uh... For example the 100 U-haul boxes full of stuff that we simply packed up to get out of the way while we were cleaning? They can snack on the contractor's paper and the little piles of accumulated sawdust here and there while they're at it.

3. Roaches need places to hide. Caulk all gaps wider than 1/8 inch in walls and cabinetry. Repair or replace damaged baseboards.

Augh! I knew there was a reason the baseboards were getting to me on such a fundamental level. I read one article that suggested that one small uncaulked gap in your baseboards could provide the perfect housing opportunity for thousands and thousands of roaches.... !! Try over 800 linear feet of totally missing baseboards. It's enough to keep me from sleeping at night.

It's official. We NEED baseboards.

In the meantime -- I'm spending this afternoon waiting for a hero from Redd Pest Solutions to come over and blast the house with a deadly cocktail to keep the buggers at bay until we can seal them into the walls and out of our lives again.

*shudder*