Did We Survive Hurricane Katrina or Not?

As the anniversary approaches (the anniversary.. I'd hope I wouldn't have to mention which anniversary I'm referring to specifically...) I find myself feeling weird.

Nervous. Sad. Confused.

Mostly confused.

Everything's okay now. Everything's fine. Nothing to worry about. The worst is over. It's all up from here.

The problem is.. that there was nothing to worry about last August 15th either. I had been home from the hospital with our new baby, Emily for a little less than 24 hours. I was enthralled with tiny diapers and little booties. My greatest worry was whether or not I had enough clean sheets to rotate through on a given day while making sure that Emily never had to sleep on a bed with so much as a drop of baby drool.

Oh -- and making an appointment for the dog's rabies shot. That was a monumentally important thing. I made the appointment for August 19th. I just got the reminder in the mail today from the vet's office:

"Dear Judge,

Please tell Dave that it is time for your annual rabies vaccination. Your last rabies shot was August 19, 2005."

And there were the kittens... discovered in the backyard that same weekend. I was obsessed with keeping them healthy and safe and worried about finding good homes for them all.

Putting the plywood on the windows and stocking up on emergency supplies was simply a routine then. It seemed like every weekend it happened: Thursday there was a threat.. by Friday the threat was pointed at us. Monday was up in the air and we were told to watch the local news for information about school and work closings. Friday Dave lugged out the shutters while I restocked munchies for the long weekend.

Katrina weekend was only slightly different. I guess it was all of those false alarms... but that Friday I remember feeling a bit puzzled that the school didn't even bother telling us whether or not they had plans to close the following Monday. There were no notes in the backpacks telling us to watch the news for any announcements. As a matter of fact - the notes from the teachers seemed to defy a hurricane in the Gulf. One particular note was reminding us to be be sure to send in our field trip money by Monday if we hadn't already done so.

Dave was just as puzzled when he came home that Friday. His employer did not announce definitely whether or not he would need to come into work on Monday -- only that he should continue to call their toll-free number throughout the weekend to see if there were any schedule changes. For the first time since he'd worked there they didn't go through the Friday- pre-tropical-weekend ritual of covering equipment with plastic. They just went home.

By Sunday night we still weren't sure about school or work on Monday. For that matter, I wasn't sure if I was going to have to cancel Emily's first appointment with the pediatrician.

So you see... that's how it was. Even that morning as the wind whipped around outside and the boys demanded cereal and biscuits - we discussed our plans for the rest of the week. William was concerned about his field trip and we assured him that they might postpone it until the following week, but he'd still get to go. They were going to the J.L. Scott Marine Education Center in Biloxi. We had no idea at the time that within a couple of hours it wouldn't exist anymore.

Why then.. would I feel so sure tonight - August 15, 2006 - that everything is fine? How on earth would I know? I don't even know what will happen tonight.