SBA Update

May 10, 2006, at approximately 9:30 am - I received a phone call from someone from the SBA. He gave me his name -- but I was caught off guard and didn't get a chance to write it down... and after the conversation, I didn't feel much like asking again.

He said he was reviewing our file as it had been sent to him from the appeals department and needed some more information. He asked for the names as they appear on our deed -- which of course is information they already had. He asked for our insurance policy numbers... the amounts that insurance did pay on our homeowner's policy and automobile policies, respectively... Also information they already had. He also asked me about various items appearing on our credit report... which is also information they already had.

And then -- armed with absolutely no new information -- he told me he would type in our information and see if we were approved while I waited on the phone. "You were not approved before due to an 'inability to repay', correct?" he asked. "That's right," I said. "It looks like you still won't qualify," he said.

So.. what I wanted to say at that very moment was something like "Of course we still won't qualify if you just typed in exactly the same information from our previous application, idiot!"
But I didn't. I simply said, "Okaaay.. That's really strange.. You know we've never had trouble qualifying for a loan before."

He er.. explained... since I seemed so clueless... that the SBA determines eligibility based on debt to income ratio and that our debt is just too high. (A mortgage, a small secured loan, and a relatively small auto loan constitutes our debt.) "Uh.. the SBA must have some pretty strict ratios..." I blurted out. He then assured me in a sweetly condescending way.. that if I ever tried to deal with a bank - I would find that they are actually more strict than the SBA. Uhm.. That's right Mr. SBA man... I'm sure you can tell by our credit report that I have absolutely no experience with bank loans. Thanks for the heads-up.

So anyway - he continued typing as we talked.. and told me not to give up yet... (Don't worry, I'm not hanging up...) He said he wanted to see if things would change if he deducted the amounts we received from insurance. I casually mentioned that our income had increased and our total debt had decreased since our original application ... and asked if perhaps he needed copies of the paid in full confirmations from the creditors or pay stubs or any of the like. He responded that such things would not really affect the debt to income ratio. *cough cough*

That's when I decided to just clean the kitchen while the nice man chatted and typed.

"So.. I was talking to a woman in Mah-ter- ray.. uh.. Muh-tar-ee... uh..."
"Meh-ter-ee," I corrected -- assuming he was talking about the city of Metairie, Louisiana.
"Oh yeah.. thanks. I was talking to a woman down there and she said she's worried about the next hurricane season with the water heating up and all of that..."
"Yep. Happens every year."
"Well.. I don't know anything about Puh-ska..."
"Pas-cah-goo-lah," I interrupted.
"Yes, thanks. I don't know anything about Pascagoula. Do you guys have levees or anything there?"
"Uhm.. no. We don't have levees."
"Were they destroyed or did you just never have them?"
"Er.. we never had levees... We don't need levees."
"Oh.. aren't you below sea-level though?"
"No. Uhm.. we're not part of New Orleans you know...."
"Oh. See I just don't know the area - so I don't know what surrounds New Orleans..."
"We don't surround New Orleans. You see.. Pascagoula is in Mississippi. New Orleans is in Louisiana. Two different states. We're about 95 miles from New Orleans."
"Didn't you say your house flooded though?"
"Yes. Yes, our house flooded."
"It usually floods in heavy rains or something?"
"No. Our area hasn't flooded in a couple hundred years of recorded history..."
"Then why did it flood this time?"
"Your guess is as good as mine."

By this time, our hero had finished typing in the information apparently and informed me that he had good news... They would be able to give us a loan of a chunk less than 50% of what we needed for the repair of our home alone (not including contents or vehicles). I know I must have audibly sighed. But I did say thank you.

On the bright side... it's better than nothing. If we don't get a grant from the Homeowner's Assistance Program -- we at least have something to start with. Of course, if we DO get a grant from the program the monies are to go to paying off the SBA loan first -- then to the mortgage company for disbursement of what's left.

All of this assistance would be a lot more helpful if you we didn't have to continually deduct whatever 'assistance' (i.e. insurance proceeds, FEMA proceeds, and now SBA proceeds) we have already received from any new 'assistance'.

In other related news:

I was just informed by Dave that the inspector from the MDA program has contacted him at work and made an appointment to come to our house tomorrow. Time to gather receipts once again.

Stay tuned.